Perfection

“But they were undefeated!” exclaimed my 9-year-old daughter as she wept in bed.

“I know. I know. But it is really hard to be perfect. It was a great year and they did their best. Remember, it’s just a game,” I told her as I kissed her goodnight.

I am a family physician in my forties who is also a father of three. My wife, kids, friends and I watched in disbelief as the Patriots lost a shocker last week to the New York Giants. It was such a sad moment to see Tom Brady throw that last incompletion of the night knowing that there will be no tomorrow. Or is there?

I am by no means a perfect father. The expletives being thrown around the living room were hardly all coming from me as my 14 and 15 year old boys couldn’t hold back as well. Putting them to bed with some kind of pep talk was no easy task either. Unless you live under a rock, you would know that teenagers aren’t enthralled with speeches from their parents. I just knew there was a lesson in all this. As Patriot fans, we invested months watching our team run their record to 18 and 0. But it was not to be. The truth is that perfection is unattainable for us human folk and keeping this in perspective was the only really way to get my boys to understand this defeat. This was just a game; there will be bigger losses in life.

This past week a study came out showing the incidence of depression being higher in our mid-forties. Also this past week a 43 year old family doctor who recently left our call group and medical organization committed suicide. He had two young boys. I am sure the touchdown pass to Plaxico Burress at the end of the game meant little to them. This is what I told my sons and I think it helped them just a bit to see the bigger picture.

Maybe the lesson of this game was to show the world that some things are out of man’s reach. There is nothing wrong in trying to be perfect but the journey and the lessons along the way may be a little more important. Though I feel horrible for Brady, Moss, Seau, Bruschi and the gang, I had always felt a sense of sadness for Tom Coughlin and Eli Manning as they were continually berated by the pundits over the past few years. There was something almost perfect in their vindication last night.

My Dad, who died a few years back, was a rabid Giants fan and we would have had a great two weeks ribbing each other before the big game if he were alive today. As I tossed and turned trying to sleep, I thought he was probably smiling down on me, glad that his “men in blue” pulled one of the biggest upsets in sports history.

No, using perfection as an end all, be all is a mistake. The 72 Dolphins can keep it. The rest of us will have to work through middle age, parenting our kids, keeping our jobs, paying our mortgages, and pursuing happiness as best as we can. The only way to accomplish the last one, I am convinced, is with a little perspective. Football is just a game. Life is just a little more important. At the end of the day, even Tom Brady is human and has to go home to Giselle. And though she may seem perfect, I’ll still take me wife. What? It’s close to Valentine’s Day. Do you know how many points I would score by getting that printed in a major newspaper? I may not be perfect but I am sure as hell not stupid.