I remember my third-grade teacher, Mr. Cahill, reading to us about how pork is processed and being disgusted by it. At one point he started to laugh when he read the line "every bit of the pig is used except the squeal". He laughed even harder when us kids asked what a squeal was (thinking it was a body part and not a joke). Bologna is a much maligned food because it is basically a conglomerate of, well, everything. You can't get more "processed" than bologna. But you know what? I have been eating the hell out of it recently and have been feeling awesome. I have more energy, I am happier and I am constantly on the go. I love it. Sure, I may crash hard a few hours after eating some but a few more bites and I am at it again. Long live Bologna! Then I found out why and had to stop. Unfortunately, I am jonesing for some more right now. Gotta go. Hey, it still may be better than some of the eggs you're eating. The Food and Drug Administration investigators have found rodents, seeping manure and even maggots at the Iowa egg farms believed to be responsible for as many as 1,500 cases of salmonella poisoning. I'll take the coke.